TrickyTricot

Goodnight Cable, Goodnight Wrong Love, Goodnight Moon

Wednesday night.  New Year's Eve.  Somewhere, folks are out having a good time. Were it summer (subconsciously, I'm yearning for summer), folks would be out in the streets screaming and being rowdy, and so on.  Across the street, I see a few apartments full of tame-rowdiness (it is early still).  Looks like Hors D'Oeuvres in 704, and lonely men on a Wii in 602. I once spent a tame night in 801 (which we'll never speak of again), and I remember looking across to my apartment and thinking, "Wow, you really *can* see right in..."

I cancelled my cable today - and my local phone.  In the end, it will save me $100 a month (about) and I'm thrilled.  I mean, the extra money is great - and the extra time is even more great.  Karen is right (from yesterday), a whole new world is on my doorstep and I'm just inching to go exploring.  The folks at RCN were nice and courteous (had they already read my blog?) - although I *did* listen to advertisements for 10 minutes on the phone "before my call was answered in turn" (maybe they were hoping I'd hang up and hang on). Just after cancelling, I signed back on to NetFlix and go a few movies I'd been wanting to see.  When I cancelled in October, I realized that I had had "The Fountain" and "The Fabulous Life of Ethan Green" (or whatever it is called) on my coffee table for nearly a year and I had not watched either.  I was ready to toss the extra charge and forget about it, but then today, realized that getting a DVD every week (or whenever) would be almost as good as actually having TV --- and when I dug deep into their online offerings, I realized I was in pretty good shape (I just watched an episode of "The Office") - and realized I was in even better shape when I saw on ITunes I can download the things I want to watch (and pay) and be done with it.  It's a win-win-win-win situation.  No more days spent uselessly surfing the channels (now they'll be filled with uselessly seeing if I can watch "Jumanji" on the NetFlix site).

It's NYE - I should write something culminatory for you all.  And, lucky for you, I will. I actually had wanted to put a post up about "sleep" tonight, but instead, you'll get something better (stay tuned for my post about sleep - it's got pictures, I promise. For now, you'll need to settle for the hyperlink I put below).

As you may well know, I love Astrology.  For years, I read the Washington Post horoscopes and wondered why they didn't make sense and why I never seemed to actually know anyone with the letters "F", "Q", and "Y" in their names (you know - like in a birthday horoscope).  Then, one day I stumbled across Rob Brezny and Free Will Astrology (yup, that's your hyperlink, kids. No more emails that my posts are all text.). Rob is great - he sends a weekly horoscope which is full of nuance and good thinking --- I don't think I've ever read 'This week, you will meet a tall stranger'... his posts are more like, 'In Ang Lee's 'Sense and Sensibility', Colonel Brandon appears as a tall dark stranger with a hidden past and a silent love for young Mary Ann.' - and will go on to say something about how you think, why you think, and/or what shifts in thinking will come that are somehow related to a tall dark stranger that Jane Austen writes into one of her seminal chef-d'oeuvres.  I think he's wonderful - when I'm stressed, Rob gives me a lot to think about. I get shivers sometimes when I read them (and some lightbulb goes off in my head and is replaced by a solar panel of wonderful deep and new thinking).  Go - check out his site, read your horoscope - and think. I'll wait.

So, one of the best things about Rob and his horoscopes, is he does yearly projections for each sign.  You have to pay (no divine wisdom is free) - but it is worth it.  I myself bought "a token" as they're called and listened to the first installment last night. In my mind, it was worth every penny and I urge you to check one out for yourself (if you buy into this whole thing, or 'introspection' is a word in your vocabulary).  Now, I'd like to tell you what he told me in this first installment, but I recognize that doing so would be like me photocopying a Nancy Bush Estonian Lace pattern (WHICH, I should say are amazing - if you have not yet gotten a complimentary copy from Interweave OR have not yet checked out the bookstore for the title, do it - it's great - and full of "nupps" [rhymes with "poops" - did anyone ever see "Last Holiday"?]) --- which I'd never do because Nancy kind of lives off book sales - just as Rob lives off (or really deserves to live off) these projections. BUT, the projection was interesting and good - Rob tells me this year will bring good and powerful shifts and that I need to begin by dropping deadweights such as things which no longer serve me, and to move on from 'the wrong kind of love.' So far, I'm doing a good job already dropping the things that might hold me back - like excessive time wasting and/or things that kind of make me crazy like TV, too much sugar, or what have you.  I'm an overachiever - I like to get an early start. On the last, I confess, it's somewhat less easy.

Now, there are folks reading who have only ever done the deed with 6 people (who I will not name because I like them and don't want to single them out) who may not know what 'the wrong kind of love' is... but I deeply hope that the rest of you at least are familiar with the phrase, or can imagine what happened the one and only night I spent in apartment 801 across the street recognizing what one could see in my own apartment (let's keep it PG in the comments, harlots).

So far, my best tactic to advance on this goal has to talk openly and friendly with a very cute massage therapist in Milwaukee who I think is very cute about things that are real and good and don't involve a long weekend in the Poconos.  So far so good - if this one were closer (or will be closer, which I do hope), he'd be a keeper.  He is a keeper. I'd really like to occupy my year with good things - make room for awesomeness and so on and so forth.  And tonight (and if only for tonight), I'm honoring that. Ask me again in 2 weeks when I'm begging RCN to let me pay $200 a month for full cable.

Hope you're all out and about, having good times, and driving safely and without issue. I'm going to do me a little more work, then pull out the Russian Prime and pop in "Pride and Prejudice".  Yes, TrickyTricot, I do think Mr. Darcy would have loved you.

The Day Before The End

Tuesday night.  I've never much liked Tuesdays - I find they're pretty blah days.  As a kid, I liked the idea of 'Ruby Tuesdays' - because I loved chicken fingers (covered in honey mustard) and spicy fries (the bloomin' onion was mighty tasty too) - but it never impacted my love of the actual day.  The only consolation I've ever had for Tuesdays has been, "Well, it's almost Wednesday".  That's it.  This particular Wednesday, the 30th, was a good winter (ish) day - I could tell in the way the sun set (and the Maxfield Parrish-esque color in the clouds). I would have liked something colder - something more like winter but, as it is with all things, we take what we can get (and then get neurotic or complain to others about it).

Thanks much to all for their little notes and well wishes.  I was grateful to see comments from good friends here. Nary a "post again tomorrow" bit of sass - so here I am with another excerpt from the days (day) of our lives (life).  Folks who ran to the blog after I posted yesterday probably didn't catch the updates and changes I made yesterday. I *finally* figured out how to update the links in my sidebar (re-figured out, really), and decided I'd open up Photoshop and get down and dirty to the point of creating a new header.  I quite love this image - it was one I took within the first hour or two of being in Italy, as we whisked away from Malpensa to our mountain escape in Lugano.  It was raining that day and as the tour guide talked and talked (we all practiced our "Buongiorno" and our "Prego"), I snapped a few quick pics of the mountain towns - this one included.  I love the view of this one and popped it in above (after a few versions - I know more about Photoshop than I think I do, but not nearly enough to be smart and good).  A new web-button to come (or not --- I kind of think buttons are a thing of the past).

On the tagline, "Always Check Your Gauge", I nearly removed it entirely.  Dan and I came up with the blog name and title together - and though I loved the gauge / gay-ge thing, I confess I don't think I'm gay enough to really put that meaning on it (as in, by reading this blog, you'd be getting the gauge on the real young gay male and all that comes with it).  BUT, as I went back and forth, I realized that a lot of my public writing here *is* about checking my own gauge - that is to say that what gets posted has nothing to do with who reads it or what they think, but rather what I do and I think. You're all quiet witnesses in my mental forum - you're behind the clear plexi-glass - as I check my own gauge and so on. Really, I should consider taking the "Tricot" part of my name off - when was the last time I talked about knitting? There has been some - I just completed two sweaters (Meg Swansen pieces, which I'll post when I can find a proper photographer).

So, after the post yesterday, though I imagined I'd be busy and get a lot done by the end of the day, I actually did not much (though I can't actually recall what that was or how it suddenly became 8pm).  I do remember 2 things - which I'll talk about here because they're important - but beyond those, it's just a lot of static (not even "Poltergeist" static - more like, "I've already seen this episode of 'Charmed' 30 times, I'll watch it again" static).

First, I remember it being around 730pm.  I had just finished watching an episode of "The Simpsons".  I'm convinced I've seen almost every episode of "The Simpsons".  I confess that last night I started watching the episode and thought maybe I hadn't seen it (it was the episode where Homer figures out that the rapture is on its way), though I had indeed seen it (twice). 730 rolls around and I realize I can't possibly watch anymore TV.  See, my cable provider (who shall remain nameless) recently forced me to upgrade to digital cable (I understand there's some big hub-bub coming in February where old TV antenae will no longer function and we'll all be screwed, so it's not like they singled me out.  Though, if you didn't know any better and I felt better about lying, I might tell you otherwise). Where it used to be easy to find everything, it's now incredibly difficult. What's worse, I technically get something like 600 channels - BUT, I don't actually get them. Really, it's more like this: Bravo, TNT, blank channel, blank channel, TBS, blank channel, Sci Fi, blank channel, blank channel, blank channel, blank channel, blank channel, Animal Planet, and on. Now, if you're in my same predicament, you know that those blank channels are really good channels that you have to pay for with Supreme digital cable, which I refuse to do.  Not only am I really pissed at the company formerly known as Starpower (there I said it) for doing this, I think it's ridiculous - it's a ploy to get me to give more of my hard-earned money, which I have little of, just so that I don't have to look at the blank channels.  It appeals to my neurotic OCD side (which they must know I have - a little anyway) and it also makes me infuriated.  BUT, this is all a side to where I find myself (and maybe you do too).

I originally got cable in 2004, when I realized "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" was on Cartoon Network (as was "Juniper Lee" - both have now either disappeared or gotten bad).  Now, I find myself really hard pressed to spend more than an hour or so of watching TV.  Occasionally, I'll find something I really want to watch - like "Top Chef" or what have you, but mostly, I watch something, and become soooo bored, that I find myself turning the TV off to do something else.  Now, this seems good and healthy, right? But, really, if you're of my generation, you're just as freaked out as I am. 

We late-70s babies did nothing but watch TV as kids.  They say that 2 hours of TV a day is healthy, but for us, 2-hours is pretty low.  Two episodes of 'Charmed' is 2 hours - and that's just before 6pm! So, after an hour of watching and being bored, I feel like my whole world is thrown into craziness. 

In this economy, and in thinking about big life changes that I feel are on the horizon (no one can tell me I'm just imagining something), I'm seriously considering cancelling my cable entirely.  I'm envigorated by this - and freaked out.  I believe tomorrow will be the day when I cut RCN back from $162 bucks a month (for cable, internet, and phone) to just $50 or so.  Looking at the bill, I can't believe I'm paying some 60 or 70 bucks for this crappy cable that I can't watch, and at least 20 bucks a month for phone that I barely touch (except to let the pizza man in). I'm gonna do it - don't tempt me, so help me, I'm going to cancel it.

Yes, it's here, my first new year's resolution. 'Cept, it's not like "I'll stop eating chocolate" (which I'd never do really) - you can't cancel your cable and then get it back again - I'm callin it quits, and it's all over.

The second thing I remember, and this *is* related, is downloading the 7 volumes of 'The Chronicles of Narnia' from Itunes (for $15).  They're read by Kenneth Branag (sp?) and others... I've likely never mentioned it, but I love these books.  I really don't care that they're inspired by the Bible and reflective of it (THOUGH, my spine did twitch a bit when I watched 'Prince Caspian' on my iPhone on my way back from CT on Saturday, and saw Aslan say something Jesus-y to Lucy for not coming to see him by herself - if you've read/watched, maybe you know and also twitched) - I read them when I was a teenager.  I know I read "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" - or at least saw the movie (does anyone else remember that crappy movie? It was like cut-outs that were *really poorly animated* - but the story is so good, it didn't really matter) - and think I read "Prince Caspian" (though also confess when I watched the movie this weekend, I didn't remember a lot of scenes); but really "got into it" (as the young'ins say) when I read "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" - which is my favorite and "The Magician's Nephew" - which is also a favorite (and luckily for me, now referred to as a L/W/W prequel and really the first book in the new line-up (even though it's really written sixth). I read all 7 (or really the 5) in one summer - which was a lot of reading for someone who was watching as much TV as they could...

So, at 730pm, when I could not take another re-run of 'Seinfeld', I played the first track of 'The Magician's Nephew' and was instantly hooked. I listened to the whole book last night - nearly 5 hours, while working on Meg Swansen's 'Russian Prime' and loved it.  I'm not a quick reader - in fact, when I read 'Life of Pi' (as everyone has), it took me like 2 weeks, which was the slowest I'd read a book (of all the others in my book club.  I excused myself from the book club when I heard that).  Really, it was a wonderful way to spend the evening - who doesn't like being read to?  Who doesn't like Kenneth Brannagh (sp?)? Who doesn't love Fair Isle at 5 and a half to the inch? I have found my response to no more cable - and it's in books.  I'm a librarian's dream, I'm every mother's constant wish: turning off the TV to read a book (or better yet, be read to).  I'm looking forward to listening to the next book (though I'm not sure it will be L/W/W - I really do know that story so well) - and I confess I very much want to download the Harry Potter books (which I've also read - though I love the idea that they're dramatized).  Perhaps 'Atlas Shrugged' and I will still meet one day.

More to come this week, I'm sure....

It's Still December...

Monday morning, er early afternoon-ish.  The skies are crystal blue - in fact, were you to open the pages of your Websters, you'd find this day under the words "crystal blue" (ridiculous, I know, Websters doesn't list "crystal blue" as a term.  I just checked). In the summer, this day would be perfect - I'd be running out to the park to sit 'derneath oak trees and feel the breeze - then again, were this summer, I wouldn't have the week off.  Happy New Years indeed.

I know you've all been waiting with baited breath to hear how I've been.  (Maybe).  By now, I think you know (those of you who've been reading since Day 1) that I treat my blog much like a new favorite restaurant.  The first few days I eat there endlessly - I can't get enough of it.  I like to try everything on the menu, explore every little corner and taste, and practically gorge myself on my favorites like jobche noodle, vegan cake, and red-purple rice.  From there, I return now and then, and relive the "good times"... until weeks and months pass without a sweet potato and healthy dose of cabbage.  One day, I think to myself, "Hmmmm... I'll bet a Flax Seed Salad is exactly what I'm craving" and I'm right back there, eating and re-living and so on.  Sounds true of my blog, no?

Well, at any rate, it has indeed been a busy fall.  When we last left, I was unpacking-showering-packing-gauzing-taping-binding twice a day.  You'd think things would have been ok after that, but well, there was additional drama to come (which I will not recount because it reeks of a wee-emotional-breakdown worse than any actual health drama).  In the end, I came to learn that it takes the body a long time to heal from surgery (obvious, I know) - in fact, I'm still healing.  I'm all closed up with a substantial scar and so on, but I can still feel the tissue moulding and sculpting beneath the skin and it is an odd feeling.  My dentist, whom I greatly admire both for her artful handling of my dental anxiety and for her generous and kind spirit, told me the best way to get on from the whole surgery is to touch my scar regularly and often - to help the body and the mind get beyond the trauma.  I've certainly tried this (she explained it as some sort of mental-nerve-thing - like it was scientific, though I don't know) - but I still catch myself saying silently, "Wow, what's that big line on your belly and how'd that get there."  My mom tells me not to rest on it... but I confess I also find myself saying, "Sh*t, I could be dead right now. Sh*t."

*Deep Breath*

If nothing else, the whole to-do sent me to really look on my life and all the things I do and evaluate.  I certainly learned who my friends are - no doubt about that.  Some local folks who I admittedly felt tight with (and who I know read this blog) appeared to, uh, disappear which was disappointing.  I confess I experienced a wee ego-blow when I considered the  help and support I'd given them vis a vis my own drama --- but decided rather than keeping score (which one might read that I'm still doing - it's ok, I acknowledge that I'm sometimes bitter) or asking for a return on knitted-gifts, yarn, or other aide, I opted instead to fill my spare time with other activity. I'm better for it, I think - but sometimes our best-acts-of-self-protection are not in our best interests (perhaps even pointing my disappointment out here and now will cause some stir in the would-be Dansko-filled chicken coop, but I think that's ok and don't mind a little passive-agression to those folks.  Hell, everyone needs someone to talk about).

Wow, that last paragraph was pretty involved. Maybe I should look in Websters for "choosing-your-words-carefully".

On the flip side, I confess friends with whom I knew less well - often readers here from elsewhere who'd had their own experiences - or still others who had drifted from me or I them - proved to be invaluable sources of consolation, perspective, and runs-to-the-grocery-store when I ran out of yogurt or good fresh fruit. There's one special guy who's driving back from Corpus-Christi/Dallas via the Eastern states who I'd like to thank with a wee giftie, but I'll need to thank him when I see him (and he's within the DMV area again).

On filling my time with other pursuits, I made a few important decisions in the fall - I decided to hire sample knitters to do all my work for me. It's been a blessing through and through (mostly) and I don't mind with parting with a bit of a commission to be able to have time to make dinner and/or have some personal time. I plan to continue with this in 2009 - and have put a call for knitters up in the "testing pool" forum in Ravelry. I've gotten some good responses - and have heard from one cool-cat that I'm hell-bent on keeping busy this spring, and am looking to add one or two more. Look there for the details. Ravelry has been wonderful - and I wish I could take back all of the crazy things I said about not having time for it.  Beyond being a great forum to meet friends and talk with knitters, it's been an endless source of tech editing work, which I love and value (and thank them for with Financial bits, when I'm able).

I'm off this week - the last few days of December and the first few of January.  I have a full-plate indeed but am welcoming a bit of time to post to the blog, do some knitting, and a ton of planning for 2009 (Business plan, here I come!).

Best wishes to all of you who are still out there with an ear - and let me know you're here!