Proustian Summer and Professional Speedbumps

Wednesday evening.  The heat has *finally* broken in Washington.  For me, 100 degrees isn't that bad - folks here whine hardcore about the heat and humidity.  Sure, it's uncomfortable - but what I find most interesting for myself is how hot weather is a Proustian-cup-of-tilleul-and-madeleine- experience.  This week, I spent a lot of time thinking about hot weather in France, when I lived in Valence for a summer with une famille francaise, and last summer, when we were in Venice and Rome - and the heat was so bad it was like being in an oven.  Both cases -- all three locales -- I was exceptionally happy; so being in heat, humidity, and general discomfortness outside this week was wonderful.  If only I had a pool - then I'd be able to relive those summers spent in St. Pete's with my grandparents -- and the pool they had -- and the hours I spent in it every day.

Even with the warm temperatures and what's clearly summer time in DC -- and the impending arrival of the longest day of the year, I'm not quite feeling the same sinking into summer relaxedness I usually feel.  Next week, I'm off to Philadelphia for our annual convention, which will be interesting and very stressful - as those things always are.  In a lot of ways, the four days spent are very much like parallel parking -- you ease into the space of that time, being very careful not to do mental (or emotional - or even physical) damage to yourself -- only to find that when you've experienced all the stress of easing into that space, the time is over - and you're on your way back to town.  Man, I hate parallel parking. But, this experience is very much "me" -- in these types of situations, I'm very much "on show"... I don't want the buyers seeing all the dents and cracks (whereas, when I'm out here writing - or out on the road, I actually think the dents and cracks make me a better author. Go figure).

Needless to say, I'm feeling some advance event stress and anxiety.  Nothing new - same ol same ol.

On the flip side, my creative juices are going gang busters.  I've been sketching *a lot* lately - which isn't usually part of my design process at all.  I made this silly goal a week or so ago that I would try and sketch 5 new designs a day -- even if they were crap -- and it's been going pretty well.  Some have made it to swatch, which is really awesome and I'm psyched about.  I like the idea of having a backlog of developed designs - it makes them easier to sell -- and it becomes good fodder for another book (which I'd like to do sooner than I think I can, but...).

The impending departure from DC has hit a few roadblocks - not even roadblocks - speedbumps.  In a lot of ways, I feel like a kid the first time he's hit a swimming pool.  You know, you've got your floaties on, you're with your mom, she's telling you it's ok you'll be fine - and you're like "Hell no lady... I'm not letting go, I don't care how fine you think I'll be."  I think I may have even screamed bloody murder when I was in the pool the first time, I was so scared. [I later came to love the water - go figure]. Then, you gather your courage and you go... and everything's alright.  Professionally speaking, it's how I'm feeling - no safety net [aside from my savings], no floaties [aside from all the work I think I can get, plus time to design]... I'm a bit scared - what I need is a push (I think even saying that is kind of scary - because I really don't want a push). Truthfully, I'm feeling like if I picked up and left tomorrow - I could make it work -- but in reality, I like the idea of having a cushy job to move to -- you know, just in case rather than working from home, I actually would rather just watch cartoons all day and you know, not get paid. But, it's all going to come to a head soon - so we'll see.

Knitwise, I've finally broken down and started to hire knitters to do the "grunt work" for me.  It means that I can design and write more (which I'm doing), but also means I get less dough. I have a great knitter doing work for me right now - I'd tell you who she is, but I don't want you stealing her from me so... I've got a whole bunch of stuff coming up, so there's some steam building....  I owe some photos to folks, but, of course, have lost my camera battery charger, so we're SOL til that comes in.

Finally, I've been accepted to SOAR in October - if you're going, either from the DC area, or elsewhere, let me know so we can connect.  I'm only staying for the workshop...  Meanwhile, I'm thinking of going back to Easton in August for Gay Spirit Camp.  If you're a MSKR-er and are similarly interested -- and have the dough -- let's make it easier for both of us!

Onwards all.  I promise to take good photos in Philly -- I'll have the pleasure of seeing Maxfield Parrish's "Dream Garden" at the Curtis Building while there, which will be a high point.  If you're a Phill-ier, hit me up and maybe we can grab coffee.

Comments

[Dave]

Hmmm. Yeah, I hate parallel parking too.

[ted]

I have the program from last year's Gay Spirit Camp. Drop me a note if you'd like it and I'll put a copy in the mail. It'll give you a sense of how the days are structured, the type of programming, and so on.

[Danny Ouellette]

Crossing fingers you move goes well.

Yay! Another SOAR buddy! I'm going for the whole thing. Might as well, only costs a few bucks more. I'm looking for a room mate, so if you are interested drop me an email.

Good luck with getting more of your designs realized. I too wish I could get more done, but I'm glad I'm getting at least a few out there. And don't worry - I won't steal your knitter!

Have a great week and talk later.

[Ted]

Yesterday was your birthday. Where's the annual post?

[RamonGustav]

Congratulations! You have so much useful information, write more.